Hope you’re all well.
I’m enjoying motherhood and settling back into a somewhat normal routine now… well – trying to anyway – when Prince Josiah allows it lol! (I’ll be doing a post on how having a baby can affect your daily life – most significantly your marriage -soon).
So a while ago I mentioned that I’d be writing about good girls and them not seeming to get the guy they want. Has this ever happened to you? I know for sure that it’s happened to a number of my close friends and it had happened to me in the past too.
It can be emotionally draining to be a good person – to do the right thing all the time – when others around you aren’t … And yet- it feels like they’re always winning and you’re not.
I remember seeing on social media a while ago… The wedding pictures of a young lady with her boo. The lighting, outfits, makeup, filters and the number of likes – were all just right to qualify as The Perfect Picture – especially when it was blasted with the caption: “GOALS”!
I looked at the picture closely and took in every detail within its frame. But the truth is… This beautiful bride had been cheating on her new husband.
How did I know? Because one of the guys she wanted to have an affair with (It’s not just one guy…) is my friend – and he showed me the messages where he’d be declining her advances!
It doesn’t seem fair does it! Why would God allow someone who is cheating on her husband… be the one to have the “Bella Naija” kind of wedding and such a sweet guy who thinks the world of her?!
And where does that leave the Good Girls? Where are the Good Guys for these Good Girls?!!???!!
Sometimes I look at my single friends and the young ladies who follow my blog and who send me messages and I’m like: come on God please!!! These your daughters are so lovely and have a heart for you! When is it going to be their turn when others who seem to not have any regard for you are getting it!
And you know what God showed me in response to my questions?
Matthew 20: 1-16
Yup! It says:
“For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work.
At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing. So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day. So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing.
At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’ They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’
That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’
He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’
So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last. (Matthew 20:1-16 NLT)
What does this mean?
Number 1: God’s decision to deploy Mercy, Favour and Grace upon who He wants to is HIS decision.
And Number 2:
It sounds kind of harsh right? But it’s the truth.
It’s easy for us to almost feel a sense of self pity and ask the “Why me God?” question… but God can answer back with “Why not you?”
I had this revelation when I was questioning God about why it was so difficult for me to get pregnant and then when I finally did get pregnant the first time… I had a miscarriage! And there were so many women who were having babies left right and centre! I kept comparing my Christian walk with God to theirs – and the numbers weren’t adding up…
But God had shown me that it’s not about me! It’s about Him!
My “goodness” had nothing to do with it. We have to stay in our OWN lane and run our OWN race with Christ – NO one else’s. We have our OWN agreement and covenant with Him – so it doesn’t matter one single bit what is going on in the life of so and so…
Just because she got herself a husband doesn’t mean everything is “hunky dory” in their marriage…. Even if he seems like the NICEST guy in the world… are you prepared to have him and be the wife who has to deal with his secret pornography addiction? Or the fact that as sweet as he may be… he will leave you to be the wife who solely deals with looking after the kids all the time? Or the fact that he hits you even though he’s trying his best to stop? Or the fact that he just can’t help himself when pretty women from work send him messages and he gets a bit too excited by the extra attention…
NO BODY KNOWS WHAT REALLY GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!
And thus we should be greatful for the fact that our own… special… God ordained blessing… unique to us and no one else… is on its way.
When it seems to be delayed or is tarrying… then do what you need to do … if you don’t know what to do… read my post about “Making the first move”:
But essentially… whether the guy has his secret hang ups or not… he’s not your guy. Every Good girl does have her Good Guy out there! And if it seems like it’s the “other girls” who are getting them… be grateful to God!
Because if you’re walking in your own lane with Christ then it simply means the ones you’ve come across so far are just not the one. Your Good Guy is coming… don’t restrict God to your time frame – but ask Him to help you to adjust so that your spirit will be at peace with His perfect time frame for YOUR LIFE!
So I can assure you today… Good Girls DO get the GOOD GUY … it’s just a case of getting him when God says so and when you’re operating in obedience to ALL AND NOT JUST SOME of what He requires of you. I am a living testimony of this fact. God gave me my Good Guy at His appointed time.
So take Heart ladies (and gentlemen trusting God for their Good Girls)…
God’s concept of GRACE AND FAVOUR does not always make sense to us …
But be grateful that you’re operating within it …
And your sweet, perfect, bespoke, “mercy and favour soaked blessing” shall come to you in Jesus’ name.
Faith, Hope & Love,