On the wedding day, people always pay attention to the bride. But today I want to honour my husband. His love for Christ and his obedience to, and respect for God’s design of Marriage is why you always see me filled with such joy.
In the book of John, Jesus said:
“You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on.”John 13:7 – That’s exactly what His message was to me back in 2010 when I prayed and fasted for God to give me a husband of His own choosing – and when He brought Dayo along, being of a different faith and living in a different country… It did NOT make sense at all!
But I praise my God today because the smiles you see in my wedding day pics are even bigger and brighter today.
Mr B has been and always will be the most amazing man in the world to me… Hand picked by God Himself and his honouring of God’s call upon his life is what helps that big ole smile of mine shine so brightly.
The past two years have had its trials, challenges, joys and victories and through it all, God has always been our source. On my wedding day, our pastor said to be prepared for trials and I almost wanted to rebuke it like: Huh?! What do you mean? Don’t you know how hard and long I prayed and waited for this marriage??? Trials ke? I don’t think so!
Yet the Bible says:
They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us! We will be free of trouble forever!”(Psalms 10:6 NLT)
And it’s true. No marriage is perfect or without its tests and challenges and low and behold… The first one came when I thought I couldn’t go through with the pain of having sex and loosing my virginity after our wedding night… And God brought us through. (Praise the Lord!! Now I could have it all day every day! Lol! I’m currently writing a book about God’s gift of Sex in Marriage and can’t wait to share it with you).
The next came recently during our second year of marriage, when we suffered the emotional blow of a miscarriage and again… Our God has brought us through and healed the hurt and I know His promises concerning us shall stand… So these children of ours will be here one day soon in His perfect timing in Jesus’ name.
The challenges of a virgin having sex on her wedding night and the challenges of a woman who experiences a miscarriage when others keep asking “when are the children coming?” are generally always kept secret and that makes it difficult for others to find comfort in or to help learn from the experiences of others who have been through the same.
And the truth is, sometimes in life things don’t always go as we had planned but that doesn’t mean that God is not in control. He has proven Himself so many times during my life that I know I can trust Him in the hard times. He is good, so very good, even when life is not turning out how we have planned. He alone has the blueprints for your life. He alone knows what is to come and we have to learn to trust in His plan even when it does not make sense to us. It did not make sense to me why my husband and I had to lose a much wanted pregnancy. It may not ever make sense but all I know is that my God is faithful and He is trustworthy. He is the One we can turn to when life is falling apart and we feel hopeless. He is the Peace we desire!
Psalm 71:20-21 says: “You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.”
God is our ultimate comforter so no matter what challenges you end up facing in marriage, – especially ones you never thought you would ever have to face before you got married…know that Yahwe has got us in the palm of His hand.
I pray that we will all, also have the confidence to be a bit more open about these things – especially within the Church- and that our transparency will be able to help others who have gone through and who are still going through such trials.
Thus it’s also important to have a strong network of your close friends around you, who share your values and faith and who can also be there to support and pray for you. Because such challenges can even cause some marriages to break down, especially when the marriage is missing the most important feature of all: Being built on a solid foundation of Christ.
And my Mr B has just been incredibly awesome through everything! So loving, kind and patient… Especially with my very “blonde moments” and that’s just what Love is: Patient and Kind. (1Corinthians 13). He cooks at times when I feel too tired to (only sometimes though lol). He is so selfless and puts my needs before his own, he doesn’t go out to frivolous places acting a fool and forgetting he has a wife at home, he loves Christ with all of his heart and he loves, respects and appreciates me as a wife.
In Song of Songs, it says “I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.” (7:10 NLT)
And knowing that, knowing that I belong to my husband, I take honor and pride in wanting to serve him as my king, the head of our home; both of us serving each other and being servants to Jesus, the King of all Kings.
I don’t take for granted at all the fact that I know I have a good husband… No not a “good” husband… An AWESOME husband! And I say it not to brag but to give honour to God for it… Because that is what I prayed for and that is what He promised that He would give me… And He did!
And it hasn’t just been all trials ofcourse. As I mentioned earlier, God has also blessed us with so much joy and many victories over these past two years. He truly has been incredibly awesome to us, and continues to bless us with new plans and goals for the future. It can be daunting at times yet still exciting, just handing over all of your own plans and expectations to God, having complete faith and trust in Him for guidance and direction – but I know that is the lesson He’s teaching us right now.
My heart is so full of love for Mr B and every day I wake up in the middle of the night to pray for him, just as I used to pray for his salvation five years ago. It’s important to keep praying for our husbands, to cover them with the blood of Jesus… Because they are the heads of our homes and we need to pray for them to encourage them and to surrender all of their endeavours and plans for our homes and families into the precious hands of Christ.
Our marriage ministry, I pray, will continue to bless and touch the lives of those around us, both near and far.
And I pray that those trusting in God for the blessing of marriage, as well as those who are in marriages that they feel like giving up on… will experience God’s special touch within their future and current marriages respectively…That each and every day, they will know and taste and see the joy of such a precious gift from God. Just the smallest spark of joy that I feel in my marriage feels like enough to set the world ablaze with love… and I pray for that kind of joy and even more in everyone’s own Christ centred marriages in Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
And… If you’re in London on Saturday 28th November, register your place and come down to our next Christian Conversations on Love and Marriage. It’s going to be awesome!
Faith, Hope and Love,
Mrs B xx