Ok so it sounds funny! Yes I know- but it’s coming from a very serious place here!
Today is my birthday! Yaay! 🎁🎉💝
I was 18 years old when I met my (now) husband about 10 years ago. He’s literally seen me “grow” from a teenager into the woman I am today… Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and …physically!
So! Does marriage make your bum grow? Well, this month marks exactly a year and a half of marriage for us and so far and I can confirm that for me, in these past 18 months… Not only has it grown… It’s now become, as one of my friends pointed out to me the other day: A distraction!!! 🙈🙈🙈
I had gone to a praise and worship night with my friends and I was wearing high waisted jeans and we happened to meet one of my other friends there whom I hadn’t seen for a while. After the event had ended, she came over to me, a look of shock all over her face as she pointed to my derrière and said: “Lola!!! What happened? Your bum has grown!! It’s distracting!!!”
We all laughed about it and my friend said it was because I’m now married. I hadn’t really ever thought about it like that before and that weekend, I bombarded my husband with questions:
Had he noticed this new growth?
What did he think of it?
Did he prefer my bum how it used to be back when we first started dating?
Should I try and find a way to reduce it?
Was he happy with my new shape? With this new DISTRACTION?
How did he feel knowing that his wife is going to a praise and worship night… A praise and worship night of all places! And her backside is:
I think I was actually out of breath by this point. I was so worked up and yet he was so calm.
A forehead kiss and sweet words of assurance from hubby finally put my mind at ease and curbed my “Bum Growth Distraction” insecurities for the night…
And then they came STRAIGHT back the next day when I told my mum what had happened.
She burst out laughing and reminded me of a time in my life when I had no bum and of how I would do squats to try and make it bigger. Well there’s DEFINITELY no need for squats anymore! Not with this new “marital behind”! It can do it’s own balancing act without the added help of squats thank you. (Nothing on the scale of breaking the internet though).
I began doing research and found so many reasons online as to why your bum can grow and SEX was one of the reasons suggested… One of my friends says that all of that extra protein must be going somewhere! Lol. Well if that’s the case then I wished it worked on growing your natural hair… I would be the black Rupunzel by now!
At this point my paranoia was getting serious . I actually found myself looking at married people around me and I was trying to remember what they (well… what their bums ) looked like before they got married. And with quite a few of them… Their bums had DEFINITELY grown. They now had the “Married Look” like they were a new creation from the book of Genesis… “And their husbands saw that it was good.”
Another reason could be that you’re just very comfortable and happy in your marriage and a little weight here and there in all the right places could be a sign that your husband is treating you right, making you a happy and comfortable wife, taking care of you in the bedroom 🙈💏🙈 and helping prepare your body for motherhood 👶 whilst making you feel good 😉. It is his duty after all.
Whatever the reason, I know it’s not the case for everybody but it sure is for me! My aunties keep grabbing me and patting it saying: “Ah Ah! Lola! Where did this come from? Tell Dayo I said Well Done!!!” Even at church the other day, one of my favourite aunties saw me after the service and called out: “Lola!!! Where did those hips come from???!!!” My reply? “It’s marriage aunty lol”.
This would be ok if it was a one off… But it’s literally everywhere I go! Lol. My mum is the one who can’t seem to get over it as she’s never seen me like this in all my years of living. She keeps saying: Lola Oh! So this bum can come out like this?” My body has never been at the weight it is today and it’s taking some getting used to. It’ll be another ball game altogether once pregnancy and having children come into the picture. But for now, I’m trying to get used to enjoying this new derrière, seeing as I got it for free – when others are out there paying thousands of pounds and killing themselves on operating tables just to get dangerous bum implants…
Though I will try to slightly adjust to having this new frame, it’s not good however to become too complacent when it comes to weight gain and just letting everything grow – when at times it needs to be curbed.
The most beautiful rose bush still needs to be cut and pruned to maintain it’s beauty right? So with this new found marital body that has taken almost a year and a half to take shape, I will definitely have to cut and prune in order to make that shape a good one. It’s still important to be attractive for your husband and most definitely for yourself. We can’t let ourselves go.
So on that note… I’m going to make more of an effort to try and be more healthy… My sweet tooth needs to go on a break. I need deliverance from cake and custard, apple crumble, ice cream, the Krispy Cream vanilla milkshake from the Krispy Cream food cart in Lakeside…and sweets and chocolate 🍨🍰🎂🍧🍫🍪🍩🍦in Jesus’ mighty name 🙏🙌 🙏 Amen!
Being only two years away from the big 3.0. makes me come to terms with the fact that my body’s metabolism etc will no longer be how it used to be when I was 18 (when I would eat Snicker bars for lunch and have chicken nuggets dipped in my McFlurry ice-cream for dinner – Yes! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!) I need to focus on the fact that it’s important that I take good care of my body now. For myself, for my husband and for my future children.
And it’s not just about my bum growing… Or my body changing… Turning 28 today is also a reminder of how fast time flies. As I mentioned earlier, I met my husband for the first time about 10 years ago when I was 18 at Uni, back when I was Lepa! 💃💃💃 lol. (Which basically means a slim young lady). In that time, he has helped me to grow into a new person, with a new understanding of life, love, family, integrity, wisdom, intimacy and most importantly, spirituality.
…To Madam (Marital bliss)
Despite seeing the new marriage weight…I also see the new creature in Christ that my husband has helped me to become. He has aided in making me and in moulding me into the woman that God has ordained for me to be.
It’s not just about taking a virgin and making her a woman. A godly man has to make you his woman… His wife…in EVERY sense of the word. Which is by fulfilling his role and his assignment of being the man that God has called to tend to and to nurture and to mature you into growing and developing into that woman that God has called you to be. From a sapling to a rose.🌹
For those who are single, take a good look at any man who is showing interest right now and ask yourself… Is this the man who can help me grow into the woman that God has called me to be? If so, then pray and fast about it and let God guide you both on the journey to marriage.
And if you don’t see him being the man who will help you grow into the woman that God has called you to be… Then he needs to keep on walking 🚶🚶🚶 because if you accept him now, it will ONLY be your bum that grows in marriage and nothing else!
In Jesus’ name – I will go back to my Lepa frame after having my children, just like my mother did after having four of us.
Amen and Amen and Amen!!! 🙏🙏🙏
But for now… I will enjoy my birthday and maybe just for today…. Have a small peice of birthday cake…
Faith, Hope and Love,
Mrs B x